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Internet Pornography

The Guide That Teaches You How to Discover and Deal with a Porn Problem

Internet porn is destroying churches, marriages and individual lives. Find out how to discover porn, and then how to help someone deal with it.

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Porn is instantly available to anyone with a computer, cell phone, iPad or a broadband connection. Millions are suffering the destruction and heartbreak that porn delivers. Christians are no more immune to this scourge than the world, and it is the whispered secret of churches that pews are filled with men AND women who have a porn habit. Marriages, families, communities and churches are being eaten from the inside out by the cancer of porn.

How big is the porn problem
Are Christians affected
Is porn a male issue
Are women into porn
Whose fault is your porn problem
How do good people end up ruined by porn
Real answers from real people about porn
How porn affects kids, singles and marriages, porn in the marriage bed
How porn affects churches, what God says about porn
The signs that someone is viewing porn, how to check for porn
How to confront your husband, wife or kids about porn
Helping someone who has a porn problem
How to block porn from a computer
How to have victory over porn

Here are some excerpts:

The Effects of Porn

There are few things that adversely and thoroughly affect life like porn does. Emotionally, spiritually, physically... individuals, marriages, families, churches, communities... it saturates and rots everything it touches.

I cringe when I hear people say "porn is no big deal", "porn is victimless" or "porn is a private matter." Talk about ignoring the obvious. I realize that we all justify our sin by trying to minimize it but trivializing porn is like saying the black plague isn't of much concern.

How Porn Affects Kids

• Porn teaches children completely WRONG ideas about sex.

• Porn destroys the security of children by breaking up their home through divorce and turmoil.

• Porn may result in the exploitation and molestation of children.

• Porn exposure awakens a child to sexuality far too early and warps their concept of intimacy.

• Porn can result in disease, illegitimate pregnancy, and early-forming porn habits.

• Porn can lead children to act out sexually with other children.

• Porn can lead kids to false ideas about women, fidelity, and sexual fulfillment.

• Porn can lead children to be callous or angry towards the opposite sex.

• Porn can lead children to perverse or deviant sexual appetites.

• Porn short-circuits normal and healthy, sexual, emotional and spiritual development.

How Porn Affects Singles

• Porn teaches, reinforces, and exacerbates completely WRONG ideas about sex.

• Porn makes singles view potential spouses with skewed and often less-than-desirable intentions.

• Porn causes a single to enter marriage with unrealistic, unhealthy, and destructive sexual expectations.

• Porn cheats a potential spouse by destroying the capacity for intimacy in their future marriage.

• Singles addicted to porn often "change" before getting married with sincere intentions that don't last if porn is not admitted and dealt with properly; often the change is just to "get the girl."

• Porn can result in disease, illegitimate pregnancy, and lifetime porn habits.

• Porn before marriage often leads to porn and adultery after marriage.

• Porn can lead singles to be callous or angry towards the opposite sex.

• Porn can lead singles to perverse or deviant sexual appetites.

• Porn short-circuits normal and healthy emotional and spiritual development.

• Porn is a cancer that can easily and often destroy a future marriage.

How Porn Affects Marriages

• While not always ending in physical adultery, porn viewing is most certainly a betrayal of spousal trust, a breaking of the marriage vows, and adultery of the heart as described by Jesus Himself.

• Porn devalues the marriage relationship, fidelity, trust, and intimacy with spouse

• Unchecked porn spirals downward consuming time, emotion, finances, and eats away at healthy relationships.

• Porn decreases genuine sexual fulfillment, intimacy, and satisfaction between spouses.

• Porn increases selfishness as personal gratification and self focus invades the sexual and emotional relationship between man and wife.

• Parenting and children suffer from decreasing attention, time, and healthy interaction, in exchange for the porn habit.

• Marital stress increases often on all fronts: financial, intimacy, time spent together, etc., leading to even more anxiety about the potential of separation, divorce, or abandonment.

• A porn-involved person endangers their own spouse by introducing, exposing, and possibly trapping their spouse in porn.

• Porn habits can lead to physical adultery and use of prostitutes resulting in sexually transmitted disease, illegitimate children and divorce.

Porn In The Marriage Bed

• Porn thwarts real intimacy because of mistrust, fantasizing, or self-focused motives.

• Porn often leads one spouse to expect the same "performance" in their own bed they are witnessing on the screen.

• Porn sabotages real fulfillment by concentrating on selfish experience, focusing on the physical to the exclusion of the emotional and spiritual, and by bringing guilt and shame into a marriage experience (the only place sex should NOT have guilt and shame).

• Porn destroys trust, fidelity, selflessness, and sharing.

Is it wrong for mutually consenting spouses to spice things up in their "love life" by viewing porn?

First, your "love life" has nothing to do with porn. That's your "lust life," married or not.

Porn viewing is the act of watching other couples engage in sex or the lustful partaking of sexual imagery to increase your own stimulation. Godly sex is a private matter between a man and wife in the secrecy of their own bedroom. The very act of watching other people having sex for your own pleasure is sinful, period. Does that really need to be argued? You are stoking the flesh fires with fuel of illicit images.

Let's get real. When you watch porn and then have sex with your spouse, what are you thinking about? Monday Night Football? A sale at Dillards? What makes it "spiced up"? It's the illicit thrill of seeing "strange flesh," the intoxicating turn-on of getting to (WITH PERMISSION) view the sexual acts of other people (who of course will have great bodies and engage in all those things you dream about).

I can assure you that neither man nor woman is thinking about their spouse at that point unless it’s thinking about how they could be different. It may indeed provide a temporary spike in sexual excitement but that is like walking through a minefield in Afghanistan to get an adrenaline fix. It's just a matter of time before it blows up in your face and tears you into shreds.

Don't fool yourself. It is WRONG for married couples to view porn to temporarily give them a sexual thrill. It will hurt you. It will destroy your marriage. God is not mocked. If you plant the seeds of porn, you'll reap a harvest of marital destruction.

In another section coming up, we'll look at what God says about marriage and see if porn has any place in it.

How Porn Affects Churches

• Leaders, ministers, Pastors, and teachers who secretly indulge in porn have their integrity and testimony diminished as well as their sense of purity, judgment, and ability to shepherd others with a clear conscience.

• Bible teaching on modesty, purity, and fidelity may go ignored, or in some cases over emphasized and made legalistic, in response to the secret guilt of porn.

• Church members feel increasingly hypocritical and isolated as guilt and shame increase.

• Innocent church members are at risk from the potential influence, exposure, or involvement in porn possibly being tempted or enticed by those who already are.

• Children in church nurseries or Sunday school classes are potential targets for molestation.

• Youth groups are fertile ground for the influence of porn and sexual impurity as Churches increasingly focus on fun, entertainment, and accommodation to the exclusion of purity and modesty. I’m alarmed at the lack of teaching on purity, especially modesty, even in conservative churches.

Porn is a cancer, a plague, a scourge, a monster, a disease, a WMD, a virus… and any other horrible words you can think of. It eats away at every aspect of life: physical, emotional, and spiritual. It shows no mercy, no constraint, and no remorse.

If you think porn is "no big deal" I hope God protects you from yourself because you'll inevitably find out how eternally wrong you are about one of the most evil things in human experience.